How Are You Listening?

Two Choices
You are either listening to them, whether they are a home buyer, house seller or investor, your husband or wife, friend or colleague, or your boss, or you are listening to yourself.

Who they are and what they are concerned about drives what conversation and action happens next. If you are truly listening with focused attention to what they say (not just the surface words but all levels), you will know if the next step is a question, an offer or response in a negotiation, or a call to action. Also, most of us have so much going on that we are very distracted in our interactions with others. Having a conversation with someone who is paying attention only to you is compelling and seductive and stacks the deck in your favor in ANY negotiation.

If you are listening to yourself, what is the conversation you are having and where does that leave the person standing in front of you?
* Have you decided beforehand what is going to happen in the interaction? Usually, as I'm certain you have already observed, in our talks with ourselves, it ends badly.
* Are you answering your objections, as if you were in their position, or their objections?
* Are your responses colored by a history of success or failure and do you carry that history forward from one interaction to the next?
* Are your dreams and goals big enough to carry you past any and all experiences?
* Who are you listening to about you (those who believe in your capacity for greatness, whether already realized or not, or those who don't)?

Have you ever been at a cocktail party and the person you are talking with is looking over your shoulder for the next more important person? Or they just answered something you never said? As a contrast, have you ever been talking with someone, either professionally or personally, who was really listening to and interested in you? Intoxicating!

If you are making a choice about building a professional or personal relationship with an individual or company attentively listening to your concerns or one who is preoccupied with their own, who would you choose?

Listening well can close deals.