Dis words like disempowered, disrespected, dismissed and disregarded go right along with mis words like misunderstood or misrepresented. So recently, I was feeling dissed at work and by my family and I had a lot of stories about what was happening and whose fault it was. Not mine, of course. I was being affected by other people’s actions and attitudes, real or perceived, and began seeing myself as a victim in the situation. After a while, that’s all I could see and that version of my reality got BIGGER and BIGGER and BIGGER. Nothing I could do about it because my ability to see clearly was impaired by the filters covering my senses.
Fortunately, I participate in Todd Falcone’s A Team which 100 individuals all about pressing ourselves beyond our limitations to grow our various network marketing businesses. So that very week, he recommended a book called The Oz Principle: Getting Results Through Accountability. I started to read about how in the U.S.A. especially the culture has developed an acceptance of victim rather than accountability mentality. We have one of the most litigitous societies among the industrialized nations. It was a Eureka moment for me as I realized THAT WAS ME! I had fallen into it without even noticing. The gift is that once I could see again, the scales just vanished and I became joyful, resourceful, helpful to others and open to opportunities again. But the circumstances had not changed an iota. I was the differentiating factor.
Where in your life are you feeling dissed or missed? Could it be you? How can you turn yourself around in an instant so, whatever the circumstances are, they become irrelevant?
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
1,140 Minutes a Day - Enjoying Yours?
Everybody has 1,140 minutes in every day, no matter what their economic status, race, religion, national or political affiliation. What are you doing with yours? Are you enjoying most, if not all, of those moments?
Take a look at how you are dividing up your time. For me, some of its passing is unconscious. What percentage is used up by sleep, work, family, relationships, volunteering, fun, whatever? More importantly, if you are spending 16 hours a day at your business or work, is it by choice or default? What do you most like to do? Are you doing it? If it’s a lack of money or time that’s stopping you, what changes do you need to make to alter your current situation? Savor life because those 1,140 minutes each day, once they’ve slipped by, are gone forever.
Consider working smart instead of, or more likely in addition to, working hard for a time to reach your dreams. The only way they are defeated is if we give up. Never give up on yourself.
Take a look at how you are dividing up your time. For me, some of its passing is unconscious. What percentage is used up by sleep, work, family, relationships, volunteering, fun, whatever? More importantly, if you are spending 16 hours a day at your business or work, is it by choice or default? What do you most like to do? Are you doing it? If it’s a lack of money or time that’s stopping you, what changes do you need to make to alter your current situation? Savor life because those 1,140 minutes each day, once they’ve slipped by, are gone forever.
Consider working smart instead of, or more likely in addition to, working hard for a time to reach your dreams. The only way they are defeated is if we give up. Never give up on yourself.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
How to Make Powerful Distinctions and Be Happy
First, identify the activities, environments and relationships that fire you up and those that drain you. What are you passionate about - your work or business, family, friends, hobbies, travel, education, investments, sports, what? Next, examine specifically what is exciting for you and try to figure out why.
For example, I tutor in East Harlem at a middle school and we were talking about career paths. I started asking the kids what they liked and did not like about school. Finding a career that makes you happy, that energizes you, is a matter of making distinctions as simple as "I like doing this," I don't like doing that." Once you have clarity, in the next job, you can choose more of what fires you up until your work is mostly a perfect fit of activities and relationships you enjoy. Conversely, you can decline jobs that don't fit you because you know what aspects of the work are displeasing to you (say, too many meetings, too much number crunching, lack of competitive spirit).
We exist in two environments usually, work and home. Here there are physical distinctions like furniture, space, light and color. There are also people environments to consider - friendly/standoffish, professional/casual, quiet/loud, efficient/sloppy, collaborative/competitive, neat/messy and so on. We might expect (or tolerate) different standards at home than at work. For example, where I work, it is a standard cubicle setup with grey or taupe walls. Since I like color and contrast, my cubicle is decorated with paintings and prints to tease the eye. In addition, my cubicle neighbor had a climbing green plant on his desk and I had the same kind of plant dying at home so I brought mine in and we are creating a jungle. Fun!
When I wanted an intimate relationship, I considered qualities that were essential and others that would be nice but optional. Then I could eliminate immediately those who lacked my "must have" qualities. For me, although I always dated shorter, financially stable, corporate men with long hair, I married a fantastic, tall artist with short hair. My "must haves" were love, a commitment to family and a passion for work and those were "must haves" for him too. I married at 35 a man I could not imagine living without, and who made me laugh. Together almost 19 years, that laughter has been more vital than I ever imagined.
The point, I guess, is to know yourself and go through life simply noticing what pleases and displeases you. If you then use that information you learned as guidance for making all kinds of important decisions, happiness will come easier to you. Try it and see...
For example, I tutor in East Harlem at a middle school and we were talking about career paths. I started asking the kids what they liked and did not like about school. Finding a career that makes you happy, that energizes you, is a matter of making distinctions as simple as "I like doing this," I don't like doing that." Once you have clarity, in the next job, you can choose more of what fires you up until your work is mostly a perfect fit of activities and relationships you enjoy. Conversely, you can decline jobs that don't fit you because you know what aspects of the work are displeasing to you (say, too many meetings, too much number crunching, lack of competitive spirit).
We exist in two environments usually, work and home. Here there are physical distinctions like furniture, space, light and color. There are also people environments to consider - friendly/standoffish, professional/casual, quiet/loud, efficient/sloppy, collaborative/competitive, neat/messy and so on. We might expect (or tolerate) different standards at home than at work. For example, where I work, it is a standard cubicle setup with grey or taupe walls. Since I like color and contrast, my cubicle is decorated with paintings and prints to tease the eye. In addition, my cubicle neighbor had a climbing green plant on his desk and I had the same kind of plant dying at home so I brought mine in and we are creating a jungle. Fun!
When I wanted an intimate relationship, I considered qualities that were essential and others that would be nice but optional. Then I could eliminate immediately those who lacked my "must have" qualities. For me, although I always dated shorter, financially stable, corporate men with long hair, I married a fantastic, tall artist with short hair. My "must haves" were love, a commitment to family and a passion for work and those were "must haves" for him too. I married at 35 a man I could not imagine living without, and who made me laugh. Together almost 19 years, that laughter has been more vital than I ever imagined.
The point, I guess, is to know yourself and go through life simply noticing what pleases and displeases you. If you then use that information you learned as guidance for making all kinds of important decisions, happiness will come easier to you. Try it and see...
Monday, May 31, 2010
What Is the Set of Your Mind - Employee or Entrepreneur?
Mindset. I was struck last week by how drastic the difference between how an employee and an entrepreneur think. It affects their actions, comfort level, what they value and their risk profile. Although I love my job for the aspects that have to do with creative relationship and systems building, I have strong entrepreneurial tendencies as a freelancer, real estate investor, network marketer and online marketer for many years. Also, I see having multiple streams of income (one of which is my job) as safer than just having a job.
An employee wants a steady, stable job to pay the bills and feel safe. If the money from one job is not enough, they will probably get a second. If they can, they put any extra money aside for savings, college education for the kids, retirement, vacation or maybe a car (not so essential in NYC where I am). They want to be paid as much as they can negotiate and these days, most people stay at a job two years, then move on, leveraging their income and status up with each move (or at least that’s the idea when it works). They like the structure of going to a workplace each day and interacting with other people in a structured workflow, of having medical benefits and, sometimes, even a 401K. They look forward to retirement when they will have time to spend with family and friends, maybe travelling or pursuing a hobby.
An entrepreneur wants time and financial freedom as quickly as possible and is willing to exert significant time and money resources upfront to accomplish that. They don’t work comfortably for other people and are impatient with corporate politics and ineffective teamwork. These are business owners, real estate investors, freelancers by choice (not circumstances), stock and futures traders, franchisees, online marketers, network marketers and consultants to name a few. They are always looking to add to their skills because it makes them more marketable. Their cashflow tends to be variable and some businesses can take 2-5 years before they show a profit. They have a strong stomach for risk and certainty that, at the end of the failures, they will succeed. They must have strong internal certainty that, if they invest focused attention on building their enterprise, it will pay off. Sometimes, they are ahead of the curve and an idea that could (and often does) succeed later, fails. After all, until the Walkman, nobody knew that portable music was an essential element for a rich quality of life. There’s a book called Blue Ocean Strategy about creating new paradigms for business that make the competition irrelevant. Amazing!
Yes, I know these are generalizations and there is more to it than that. So what does your mindset tell you about who you are inherently – an employee or an entrepreneur? Are you happy and fulfilled with your current mindset? As an employee or entrepreneur, how can you expand your possibilities? When will you start? NOW would be good...
An employee wants a steady, stable job to pay the bills and feel safe. If the money from one job is not enough, they will probably get a second. If they can, they put any extra money aside for savings, college education for the kids, retirement, vacation or maybe a car (not so essential in NYC where I am). They want to be paid as much as they can negotiate and these days, most people stay at a job two years, then move on, leveraging their income and status up with each move (or at least that’s the idea when it works). They like the structure of going to a workplace each day and interacting with other people in a structured workflow, of having medical benefits and, sometimes, even a 401K. They look forward to retirement when they will have time to spend with family and friends, maybe travelling or pursuing a hobby.
An entrepreneur wants time and financial freedom as quickly as possible and is willing to exert significant time and money resources upfront to accomplish that. They don’t work comfortably for other people and are impatient with corporate politics and ineffective teamwork. These are business owners, real estate investors, freelancers by choice (not circumstances), stock and futures traders, franchisees, online marketers, network marketers and consultants to name a few. They are always looking to add to their skills because it makes them more marketable. Their cashflow tends to be variable and some businesses can take 2-5 years before they show a profit. They have a strong stomach for risk and certainty that, at the end of the failures, they will succeed. They must have strong internal certainty that, if they invest focused attention on building their enterprise, it will pay off. Sometimes, they are ahead of the curve and an idea that could (and often does) succeed later, fails. After all, until the Walkman, nobody knew that portable music was an essential element for a rich quality of life. There’s a book called Blue Ocean Strategy about creating new paradigms for business that make the competition irrelevant. Amazing!
Yes, I know these are generalizations and there is more to it than that. So what does your mindset tell you about who you are inherently – an employee or an entrepreneur? Are you happy and fulfilled with your current mindset? As an employee or entrepreneur, how can you expand your possibilities? When will you start? NOW would be good...
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Success Is Not Just About the Cash
I went to an amazing seminar put on by the New York Entrepreneurs Business Network (NYEBN) in NYC about how to have our vendor table crowded with clamoring customers. Jessica of Shani Marketing gave specific tips about attraction marketing so I tried them out AND THEY WORK!!! Among other things, I made up a questionnaire about people’s lives asking specific questions to see if what my partner, Janet Cook, and I offer might help them accomplish specific health or wealth goals like having more natural energy, better nutrition, releasing toxins, restful sleep or extra income.
This questioning style worked well for me because I felt like Janet cared about what I wanted and was interested in helping me boost my energy in my second half century of life (as my brothers so kindly mentioned). As a welcome side effect, I have also let go of 14 pounds since March 20th. Wahoo! I really enjoy discovering who people are and celebrating what makes each one special. I am endlessly curious and remember small facts about people’s lives for ages. I share what is working for me as I would share a fantastic book or movie so I am unattached to the ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ and the relationship stays intact. As a result, people are joining our team and buying the products but it’s out of the caring not pushing a sale for cash. Doing what comes naturally…
This questioning style worked well for me because I felt like Janet cared about what I wanted and was interested in helping me boost my energy in my second half century of life (as my brothers so kindly mentioned). As a welcome side effect, I have also let go of 14 pounds since March 20th. Wahoo! I really enjoy discovering who people are and celebrating what makes each one special. I am endlessly curious and remember small facts about people’s lives for ages. I share what is working for me as I would share a fantastic book or movie so I am unattached to the ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ and the relationship stays intact. As a result, people are joining our team and buying the products but it’s out of the caring not pushing a sale for cash. Doing what comes naturally…
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