First, identify the activities, environments and relationships that fire you up and those that drain you. What are you passionate about - your work or business, family, friends, hobbies, travel, education, investments, sports, what? Next, examine specifically what is exciting for you and try to figure out why.
For example, I tutor in East Harlem at a middle school and we were talking about career paths. I started asking the kids what they liked and did not like about school. Finding a career that makes you happy, that energizes you, is a matter of making distinctions as simple as "I like doing this," I don't like doing that." Once you have clarity, in the next job, you can choose more of what fires you up until your work is mostly a perfect fit of activities and relationships you enjoy. Conversely, you can decline jobs that don't fit you because you know what aspects of the work are displeasing to you (say, too many meetings, too much number crunching, lack of competitive spirit).
We exist in two environments usually, work and home. Here there are physical distinctions like furniture, space, light and color. There are also people environments to consider - friendly/standoffish, professional/casual, quiet/loud, efficient/sloppy, collaborative/competitive, neat/messy and so on. We might expect (or tolerate) different standards at home than at work. For example, where I work, it is a standard cubicle setup with grey or taupe walls. Since I like color and contrast, my cubicle is decorated with paintings and prints to tease the eye. In addition, my cubicle neighbor had a climbing green plant on his desk and I had the same kind of plant dying at home so I brought mine in and we are creating a jungle. Fun!
When I wanted an intimate relationship, I considered qualities that were essential and others that would be nice but optional. Then I could eliminate immediately those who lacked my "must have" qualities. For me, although I always dated shorter, financially stable, corporate men with long hair, I married a fantastic, tall artist with short hair. My "must haves" were love, a commitment to family and a passion for work and those were "must haves" for him too. I married at 35 a man I could not imagine living without, and who made me laugh. Together almost 19 years, that laughter has been more vital than I ever imagined.
The point, I guess, is to know yourself and go through life simply noticing what pleases and displeases you. If you then use that information you learned as guidance for making all kinds of important decisions, happiness will come easier to you. Try it and see...
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